Okay. So this has got to stop. I love Lost. I watch it religiously. But everyone once in a while (read: everytime I happen to mention the word “LOST”), I get people who think they are oh-so-smart (read: every person on the planet that doesn’t watch Lost.) making the following comments:

“Durrrr, are they still on that island?”

Hey, newsflash? The show is called Lost. No, of course they’re not on the island. Cuh-learly the whole show takes place in a crawling metropolis in the heart of the US of A. The person will then follow up my spiteful response with a question regarding why they have been on the island for 5 seasons. While it may not seem like it to casual observers who have seen maybe 1 minute of the pilot, this show has not just one, but several intertwining plots. The island is as much a character in the show as the actual characters, and until you actually watch Lost, I don’t think you’ll ever truly understand. And the characters… Oh the characters. There’s the loveable ones, like Charlie and Hurley (I remember almost crying in one of the season finales for Charlie), there are the ones you just detest, like Ben or the Others, and the ones you just can’t let go, like Faraday or even Boone. And even the characters I hate, like Ben, I can’t help but love.

“Durrr, so they’re still LOST?”

Go get on an airplane. Make sure it’s Oceanic. Flight 815, if you can. Have fun. :)

Other than that, people, there’s just one more question I just cannot stand.

“OMG you guys, what’s the point of Twitter?”

If you don’t understand basic social networking, maybe you should be online.

Rant over.

-Maryam

So tonight’s episode of Glee started… And it was interesting… But then it got awesome. I decided to write down exactly what I thought of each scene, so here’s just everything that I wrote down, with no specified scenes:

KEMMA! THEY’RE BACK! (Best couple name ever.)

Best couple name, that’s all. Not a good couple. Also: Wilma? Not so catchy.

C’mon, dude. Why you gotta play Glee Club like that?

Ugh, Kurt. Getting more and more obnoxious with each episode.

Haha, Will is quite the cheesy teacher stereotype.

I hate Quinn, but I feel so bad for her sometimes. Also: the clubs Rachel’s in? HI-LARIOUS.

OHEMGEE, THERE’S TERRI! TELL HIM YOU’RE NOT PREGNANT, HCTIB! …damnit.

Of course they throw Rachel under the bus. Selfish jerks.

LOL Exactly 74 flaws.

Awww, poor Rachel. They have some pretty good excuses, though. ‘Specially Brittany.

Yay Finn! Though, that was predictable.

GAH REALLY HOT MICHAEL BUBLE AD.

*ahem* Back to Glee! Aw, they’re singing Smile by Lily Allen! They’re so adorable together.

I really like Rachel’s outfit in this song!

OHEMGEE THAT CAMERA GUY IS THE GUY FROM BIG BANG THEORY! OHEMGEE!

Also: Rachel’s dress here is pwetty.

Stupid Finn.

Woo! Mattress commercial! I like her terms involve anything but nudity and the exploitation of animals.

Heehee, fat guy is fat.

Did you know that mattresses weren’t just for sleeping and fornicating anymore?

JUMP!

Mmm… Finn.

Yeah, this Mike Chang kid? Too happy.

Ohemgee Will’s gonna find something…

OHEMGEE HE FOUND IT

HE’S FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

…he’s scary when he’s mad.

Poor Will.

Matthew Morrison is SO GOOD in this scene!

Ugh, HOW WILL “SORRY” HELP?!

Good, he left.

THANK GOD he’s free!

Poor Will… He should stay with Emma, not sleep at school.

…WHAT. But… SECTIONALS.

Why does Sue always hate on Will’s hair?

“What if I innocently murder you?” LOL Sue is amazing.

Poor Will.

Can I just hug him?

STUPID ADS.

FINALLY. THANK YOU QUINN. I actually like her now.

No, no, NO. SHUT UP WILL. DAMNIT. YOU WILL FIND A WAY TO GO TO SECTIONALS WITH THEM.

I love this song! Smile by Charlie Chaplin. I like his version a bit more, though.

LOL @ Rachel brushing her teeth!

LOL @ Finn and Puck working out!

…Don’t they need a teacher, though?

NO. WILL. STOP. COME BACK!

How do they get their yearbooks so goshdarn fast?

I NEED A TIME MACHINE. SET IT TO NEXT WEDNESDAY. AROUND 9.

Kthxbai,

-Maryam

Dear Ms. Ivankovic/To Whom It May Concern, 

Hello. It quite saddens me that you will not be in good old Oakville at the time of your 16th birthday. This means that we, The Stairwell Girls™, cannot embarrass you by storming whichever classroom you happen to be in at the exact minute of your birthdate and sing a rousing rendition (remixed to include plenty of thrusts, and rapped over by Frank Lee Brown and Oliviaman, of course) of the classical hit, Happy Birthday. I also regret to inform you that I cannot deliver the following to you on the day of your birth:

• Hugh Laurie
• A Quidditch Team
• Nathan Fillion
• Jonathon Young
• Magic Powers
• A Late Letter from Hogwarts
• Anything else that is near impossible for a lazy 16-year-old to obtain.

However, I might be able to scrounge up a decent gift that may be satisfactory to one with such high demands. And now, I bid you adieu, as I must finish at least the first season of Sanctuary before your return from the far off land of Cuba. Have a superawesometastic day, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 

Signed,
Maryam Alam
(Ramalam)

Hey y’all! (I can’t promise that I’ll never say that again.)

So you might notice that in the sidebar (on the left) there’s a bunch of “tags”. Now, I’ve been editing your posts to add tags so we can go through the archives easily. If you want to do this yourself, click on “Advanced Options” to the right of the screen when you’re editing or adding a post. One of the boxes will have the heading “Tag this post”. Click in the box and begin typing your tag. Once you’ve finished your tag, press enter. Then you can type the next tag and so on.

Don’t tag your posts randomly with stuff like “haha oh em gee that one time” or “lyk s0 kewl”. Keep it neat and awesome! Tag your name (no caps, it’s easier that way) and the subject of your post. For example, my tags are “maryam”, “features”, and “rant”.

If you guys just want me to keep doing this, though, I can go through each post and tag it. It only takes me a few seconds.

-Maryam

Okay, I finally decided my pathways stuff:

Session 1: York
Session 2: Queens
Session 3: LUNCH
Session 4: U of T
Session 5: Dalhousie
Session 6: Carleton

I’m SO not looking forward to this. Please injure me so I can be mysteriously “away”. kthxbai.

-Maryam

Heyheyhey, everyone!

While our old blog was… superawesometastic, I set up this new one because now we can all have our own accounts with our own usernames/passwords. That way, it’ll be easier for everyone to post stuff. I have also enabled comments, so instead of breaking in to another person’s post, you can just click “comment”. YAY!

-Maryam